Sunday, August 26, 2007

This One Caught Me By Surprise....

My brother-in-law was married to a girl named Hilary. At first I wasn't sure if I liked her. I was pretty protective of him. She grew on me though. We ended up becoming great friends. They married and I was a big part of their wedding. She and he were big parts of our lives. When I had Luke, Hilary and Gregg came to the hospital and stayed longer than anyone. We had a little party. We laughed and drank ( I wasn't breast feeding). I think they were actually asked to leave by a nurse. Anyway, we were together a lot over the year they were married (they were together a few years before becoming married). They divorced in February of this year. That had to have been one of the hardest things I've ever been through. She made a mistake, a big one and I think they tried to work it out. The didn't. They couldn't. I'm not sure I blame him, but I'm not sure I blame her either. What happened was between them. I'm just sorry I couldn't fix things for them.

When she told me they were divorcing, it seriously took the wind out of me. I instantly asked her what I could do. How could I fix things? I needed her to be in my life; in my children's lives. She was my sister. I know that sounds corny, but wow was it true. I cried the whole way home from that dinner. I came home and took down all of her pictures. "Hoe could I have pictures of her in my house?", I thought. "What if Gregg sees these?", I said to Chad. It was as if she died. The pictures, and the memories just gone. I swore I would stay friends with her. That didn't need to change, right? Wrong. My in-laws weren't to keen on me talking with her. They didn't say I couldn't, but I knew I'd let them down if I did (as if I don't let them down enough). We haven't talked in about a year.

I saw Hilary last night at a wedding. She didn't expect to see me. I certainly didn't expect to see her. We looked at each other in absolute shock. We hugged each other and cried. Really cried. I'm sure everyone in the room was like, "Wow! Have they had too much to drink already?". I was just telling my friend how much I missed Hilary about a week ago. Seeing her last night, at a wedding about two hours away from where we both live, I realized something. Love, friendship and sisterhood are three things we are lucky enough to ever have in our lifetime. I had all three with one person. I miss my sister.

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